


Wonderwall

by A Lost Time Journal (RoNask)



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 01:24:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15763749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoNask/pseuds/A%20Lost%20Time%20Journal
Summary: Lucy arrives in a timeline that isn't hers and she fears she causes a lot of pain in the process.





	Wonderwall

The first thing she heard when she entered the room was the childish giggle. His hand was hovering just above the baby who was trying to grab his fingers, her own pink plush cow forgotten at her side.  
Lucy swallowed down hard and studied the floor for a moment, wondering if it could just eat her whole and save them all the trouble. Finding no comfort on it, she raised her eyes back to him and gather what was left of her courage. “Can we talk? Please?”  
He muttered something to the baby in Croatian and she might just have felt a little hurt for it, she can’t tell if he did it for the baby’s sake or just to keep her from understanding whatever it was that he said. Yet his features are revealing and she might not need translation at all.   
Finally, he faced her and, with a gesture, offered her a sit on the big bed near the white crib. “Please”  
Before she moved she caught the sight of the new golden ring on his finger and felt the urge to touch her own ring finger, even if she knew she would find it empty. There was a profound sense of loss she didn’t know she could feel. How can one miss something they never had? At least, not this version of her.  
She sat down on the bed. “I’m sorry” is the first thing she says and it was nowhere near enough and she can feel it, as if a hole had just been opened between them. “I’m so, so sorry”  
His expression hardened. She saw pain, anger, then a pause and he got himself back together, looked deep into her eyes, licked his lips, dry from his mess of emotions. Lucy suspected she saw tears in his eyes. “It’s not your fault”  
And it hurt, hurt like hell and she just can’t understand why. She would rather have him fight her, she wanted to cry, wanted to tell him that it was not okay, but for some reason, her attention is caught by the baby and she was suddenly a bit more aware of why he controls himself so well.  
“I… I’m very, very sorry for your loss, Garcia, I swear I am” she sputtered, shifting on the bed as if she couldn’t find a comfortable position.  
“Lucy,...”  
“I know it sucks, I’m so, so sorry, if there’s anything I can do to…”  
“Lucy.” he doesn’t even raise his voice, but their eyes met and she knew she was better off silent right now. “I know how it works, this is not your life, you don’t know it, it’s okay”  
Oh, Gods, she wanted to cry so bad.  
The historian looked down at her lap. “What is her name?”  
“Olivia” he answered turning back to the child. “Amy Olivia Preston-Flynn”  
“How old?”  
“She’ll be one in two months”  
That made her pause and turn to him. “Was I… Still breastfeeding her?”  
“No, we wanted to, but you couldn’t,” he gave her a look over his shoulder. “it’s not like we get to eat properly here”  
“Flynn, I…”  
“Please, don’t”  
There is a moment of silence. “May I hold her?”  
The man let out a sigh, played with the child a little more before picking her up in a manner only an experienced father can, making it look very pretty and still being very careful.  
Lucy struggled a little but finally figured it out and much to her relief the child doesn’t cry, doesn’t fight her. Big eyes studied the woman and a pleasant giggle followed, making the historian feel like the world might not be falling apart just now. “Hi, Olivia”  
“We almost lost her” Flynn confessed, wiping away a tear. “She wasn’t in the right position, you were in a lot of pain,... I thought I was gonna lose you both”  
She watched his face, his attention focused on the child.  
The strangest part of it all wasn’t knowing that some version of her loved him enough to marry him or that they had conceived such a beautiful young being. The strangest part was wondering if she would ever live up to be the woman he loved, the wife he had lost.  
She wanted to kiss his pain away, wanted to be fearless enough to love him with all her heart, to get his broken pieces together. Wanted to protect this small family, a hint of normalcy in the shitstorm of chaos they seemed to live in these last years. She wanted to beg him for forgiveness, for she felt she had stolen his family, made him go through the pain of losing Lorena and Iris all over again.  
God, she was terrified.  
It wasn’t until he picked Olivia in one of his arms that she realized she was crying. Flynn wrapped his free arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, allowed her to bury her face on his chest, allowed her to mutter muffled apologies against his turtleneck, kissed the top of her head as if he loved her just like he loved the Lucy he had lost today.  
“... Please, don’t hate me…” she whimpered  
“Shh… It’s okay” he whispered back and gave her a chuckle with no humor in it, still a smile appearing on his lips. His hand reached for her chin, making her look up to his eyes and she found his eyes watering. “I don’t think I could hate if I tried, draga”  
He reached around her again, caressed her back until she calmed down, held her and soothed her as if she was the child and not the silent baby now sleeping on his arms.  
“We will figure it out” Flynn whispered. “I’ll help you. Everything is going to be okay”  
Lucy was unable to let him go. Maybe in the safety of his arms, she would know no pain, maybe if she stayed here forever she would survive whatever chaos came on her way. Lost in his arms, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could learn to forgive herself. She knew she could love him, could feel it right now and, God, she could love him, even if she didn’t think she deserved him. Maybe she’d figure out how to exist in a reality that wasn’t hers, as long as he was around, maybe she could survive this.  
In the safety of his arms, she could survive anything.


End file.
